29.11.2015

All I know at the end of the day, is you want what you want and you say what you say, and you follow your heart even though it’ll break sometimes. – One Direction

Truth is, following your heart isn’t the easiest thing in the world. That’s why I’m leaving for a while. I’m defenseless at the moment and a new space with new people will do me good. Everyone here has seen my unseen scars and I’m tired of it. I’m going somewhere new.

Somewhere where the sun is warmer and the sand is softer. A place where I don’t know the people and where they don’t know me. It’s a temporary fresh start. I’m counting the days.

But before I go, I have unfinished business to attend to. There are people I have to see, and strings I have to cut, because sometimes when we build a fire it goes down in flames. There are people I have to forgive and people I have to walk away from because I refuse to leave with any baggage. It would defeat the purpose of this trip.

I don’t want to think about home while I’m there. I have 3 months away from here to clear my head and start my next year fresh. I intend to make the best of those 3 months.

So, no, I am not running away. I am simply clearing my head in order to make 2016 better. I am leaving my family, friends and acquaintances right here while I forge a new path. I love you all, but I will see you all in February. I know you understand that this is something I need to do for myself. I’ll see my closest people over Christmas when I come home for a week before I go back again.

I see you when I see you. If I ask to see you before then, I do so with reason. As I’m sitting here I can think of a handful of people I need to finish some unfinished business with. There is no other hidden agendas. I just want to clear the air and make life easier for everyone involved. I am doing it for the selfish reason of wanting to have a clear head again.

11:05 on 29 November 2015 I depart from Port Elizabeth. I love you all.

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